Maybahay ng OFW
Wife of an Overseas Filipino Worker.
How I Manage my Anger
My last post was a little heavy.. The anger that I had that day was at the peak, but I still managed to control it. If you haven’t read my last blog, I shared what happened to my daughter and my mom last week. They were attacked by a dog and my daughter was bitten and scratched. It was a little though but I decided to have her vaccinated with anti-rabies.
In this regard, I was boiling in anger and I wanted to confront the owner of the dog. I know that I might not able to control my emotions and so I decided to wait a while.
TAKE TIME TO THINK
When we are angry, we are validating the reason why we are angry. We are bias and just listening to ourselves. Sometimes, the other side has also reasons why it happened. And so, it is very important to take time to think and assess what happened. You would be surprised that by pausing and thinking, sometimes, you will realize that it was actually your fault or it is just because of a situation.
Pausing can also give you time to think of what you need to say. It allows you to be mindful of the feelings of the other person.
PRAYER
It is my habit to talk to God, especially when I have doubts on what I am feeling and whenever I am angry or upset. Along with the pausing, I am constantly seeking God’s guidance and wisdom. It is for my peace of mind because it is more often that the person who is angry is the one who is hurt.
SLOW TO SPEAK
With the spur of the moment, we sometimes don’t have much time to think whenever anger eats us. The best way to control is to speak slowly and calmly.. even if it is hard. With these, there will be less trouble and hurtfulness.
GIVE DISTANCE
There are some cases when confronting and talking calmly is not effective anymore especially when you have done it a lot of times already. It’s time to let go and have some distance. This is what you call self-respect. You should leave something for yourself also.
Giving distance not also would let the other person realize your worth but also coming to his senses of what he has done.
When I decided to confront the owner of the dog, I paused and waited for an hour, I prayed, then eventually talk calmly to the person. It was very smooth, we understood each other well. We concluded and he helped me with the vaccination cost. I think he learned his lesson too.
Please don’t get me wrong, I too had some instances when I let my anger burst. I said “let” because I too has the right to fight for myself. I think it is not wrong to know your worth and fight for whatever you think is good. Some people need to also learn their lessons.
Attacked by a Dog
For the past days if you will notice, I was active here in my blog because I was disappointed. Disappointed because my youngest daughter was attacked by a dog while walking on the street with her grandmother.
It’s seldom that my daughter goes out for a walk with either me or my mother. My daughter asked my mom if she could go with her for a walk. I prepared some spring rolls and I thought those were quite many for us so I told my mom to bring some for the security guards. When they were about to go home, there was a dog who got out of their house and attacked my daughter. My mom was so nervous and barely can’t speak because of what happened. She tried to protect my daughter, but the dog was fast. A young lady was trying to pull the dog but she was also scared, according to my mom.
It happened last Wednesday afternoon. The night of Wednesday, I immediately sent a message to my daughter’s pediatrician because there was a scratch on her foot. I then, went to the owner of the dog. I asked if the dog has an anti-rabies vaccine, and the owner said all his dogs vaccination are updated. I was quite okay when I heard that but the pediatrician told me that though it was only a scratch, I still need to bring my daughter to Animal Bite Center or government’s health center for anti-rabies vaccine. I knew that there will be a lot of vaccines for that. It would be traumatic for my daughter.
I was hesitant to bring my daughter because I learned also that Covid patients come to the government health centers. I am not comfortable bringing my daughter outside. She is not vaccinated.
Come Friday, I saw this two wounds on my daughter’s right leg (scratch is on the right foot). I suspected that these are from a dog bite. I was thinking of that because I was bitten by a dog before. I asked my daughter and she told me that, it was from the dog. Because of this, I immediately searched for a clinic where they do home service for vaccination. Thank God and I found one.
For two days I was not able to sleep well because of what I learnt about rabies. I will not discuss it here because I am not an expert on that but I did some research and it is really frightening. I cannot be complacent about it. I need to do something immediately.
So today, the nurse who will do the vaccination arrived. My youngest daughter is really brave, in fact, she did not cry when the dog bit her. She shouted because her headband fell. On her periodic vaccination on her pediatrician, there was no glimpse of fear on her. However today was different, she had 5 shots for the bite and the scratch. The first three was smooth, but the last two became a struggle. I felt so sorry that my daughter had to experience that. I literally boiled in anger to the owner of the dog.
I cannot end this day without confronting the owner. I know my rights because it is a law here in the Philippines to cage their dog or let it stay inside their premises. If not there will be a lot of penalties. Oh my, I had to discuss to the owner how fatal rabies is. He was not old. He is even an officer of the home owners association here in our subdivision. Thankfully, he was calm because if he will resist and say something that would fuel my anger, I don’t know what I could say to him. He paid me with half of what we paid for the vaccination.
I ordered a nice doll house for my daughter as a reward on her braveness. It was not her fault. I still thankful because nothing bad happened to her. It was little scratch but there was a bite.
Well, this is what a mother could do for her children. I could be as calm as a sheep but if something would happen to my daughters, oh no, I don’t know what beast I could be..
Taking a Walk with my Daughter
It was a good weather today here in the Philippines.. It was a great day to walk. After the homeschool of my children, I asked my eldest daughter if we could walk around the village. She was hesitant because yesterday while my mom and my youngest daughter were walking around, they were attacked by a dog. Thankfully, nothing serious happened to them but it left a trauma to my children.
My eldest, though hesitant, still walked with me. I know she also wanted to be with me once in a while. Aside from homeschooling, nowadays, I am keeping my eyes more on my 4-year-old youngest daughter than my eldest. Walking with me and exchanging views are some of our favorite moments together.
As expected, there were lots of stray dogs around the village. I know they are not the ones who are attacking people, it is the ones who were caged inside the houses. We walked for at least an hour and on our entire trip, my daughter was holding my hands.
So nice to be able to have moments like this with my eldest.. She is now as tall as me. Having some views that are quite interesting. Her sense of humor is the same as ours (mine & her father’s). She is missing her father so much. This is the longest time, we are far from each other.
I am trying to divert her attention by joking around her fear of dogs. Since we walked late in the afternoon, there are lots of people who were walking their dogs too and my child was so scared. She was laughing on how she was overreacting.
I decided to drop by a store and buy her soda and chips.
Though she is already 11 years old, she is still playful. I am cherishing her innocence and naivety. I allowed her to play around while we were walking.
It was already dinner time when we arrived at home.. My mom, grilled the marinated chicken that I prepared. We still have bean soup that was cooked during lunch time.
I hope this could be a habit of ours.. Soon, it will be together with my husband and my youngest kid.
Lessons on K-drama Series, Squid Game
I just finished this Korean drama series called Squid Game as I always see it on top 1 in Netflix Philippines. I saw the preview and it is quite disturbing and so I was really not interested to watch it. However, for some reasons I became curious on watching it because my friends and family recommended it to me. Knowing that I am so scared to watch thriller movies, they still asked me to watch. Most of them told me that it is not a scary series, there’s nothing to be scared of. So I decided to watch it..
I got hooked for the past 3 nights because night time is the only time I could really concentrate on watching.. Haha.. It was an interesting series.. A lot of lessons about life.. a lot of take aways.
What are the lessons that I got from Squid Game?
This is not a spoiler post.. I just want to share with you what are the possible life lessons that you could realized from this drama series.
Money is the Root of Evil
Betrayals, fights, crimes, divorce, killings, etc.. Some people are puppet of money. Money is their master. They will do everything for money. You could think of anything worst that money can do, and it is happening.
Most of the time, fights amongst married people is because of money. How it is being spent, budgeted and divided is being questioned.
Money can manipulate a person by giving him comfort through gambling.. Until the person will be addicted and will do anything just to gamble. Betrayals amongst family members, betrayal to parents, children, spouses..
Money will not Give us Happiness
Rich and poor people have equal expenses. Lifestyle changes when someone becomes rich. There will never be satisfaction if a person will let money control his life.
A lot of celebrities seek psychiatric help because of mental illness caused by too much money. When someone is very rich, life becomes boring.
Happiness is seeking God and finding peace on Him.
Betrayals comes from People Close to us
People who experienced betrayal.. the most hurtful feeling that you could imagine.. never thought that it would be from someone they trusted the most. I can attest to that, because I too experienced it.. And it is also about money.
If you experienced the excruciating pain within because of betrayal, it would be really hard to trust again. That is why it is very important to have a greater relationship with God because if people will betray us, He will certainly be there for us.
Life is not a Game
Life is not a survival game.. We tend to take risks without planning or studying about it because we always think that life is to survive. In fact, we are all here to enjoy the life that is given to us. To worship the creator.
We don’t need to step on someone to be on top.. We don’t need to push someone to win.. We just need to live according to the purpose that God give us. It might be very simple but it is a process of committing ourselves to knowing God and asking about our purpose in this life.
Judging Others
As you progress on watching the series, you will realize that not all people who participated in the game are wasted. Sometimes, there are some circumstances in our lives that we cannot avoid. It gives us some desperate moves to survive.
Some tend to take advantage of someone’s weaknesses. This too happened in the series.
To sum up, I could say that it is worth the time to watch. The message is so powerful that we will be surprised that some instances happened to our lives. However, through this series we will be able to assess what could be done to avoid being drowned on money.
Homeschool Beginner
Last post was a little heavy because of the frustrations that I am feeling with the politics here in the Philippines amidst the pandemic. Please bear me on that.. I am trying to be positive each day because I have accepted this pandemic and the consequences that this brings. Acceptance on the dirt Philippine politics is something that is hard to swallow.
Anyway, on a lighter note, last week was a little busy for me because of the two houses that we bought for rentals. There are some things to repair and fortunately everything is settled. I was joggling the homeschooling of my kids and the repairs of the houses. It was a little challenging.. Thankfully, I was able to find some good people to repair the problems.
My 11-year-old daughter is learning to be independent on her studies. It is actually a work in progress because she knew that I am her facilitator and maybe she is thinking that there will be some considerations. However, I am strict on disciplining her in terms of studying and time management. It’s rewarding also to see improvements on how she handles her deadlines, activities and projects.
At the start of every week, I usually prepare the lessons that my daughter will have. Since we have weekly schedules, I am very firm on that. Even if I need to run errands, I see to it that she has something to do for school. Since it is homeschool, whatever it is that she needs to clarify is done at night.
However, I see to it that we focus on her schedule and everything will be based on that. I want us to be on track in terms of the curriculum that her homeschool provider gave us. So far… so good.
I am satisfied with my homeschool journey. I also explained to my daughter the things that she needs on the traditional school. She hasn’t had much experience on studying here in the Philippines as we were in Singapore till 2019. So I am preparing her for the face-to-face school.. We always have recitations, projects and other activities that would enhance her confidence on facing her classmates or teachers.
For me, my youngest homeschooling is more challenging. I experienced her to attend an online school however, I am also the one who was teaching her. I introduced her to letters and writing them. But her hands needs some exercise and she needs to really develop her motor skills. So I bought her slimes and sand to exercise her hands and fingers. She really enjoys it. Surprisingly, her writings also improved. I can say that these are effective.
This week I am focusing on my children’s school. After all, this is really our priority. Are you also homeschooling your children? How’s your homeschool journey so far?
Pandemic and Politics in the Philippines
This is the first time I will be saying something about the politics here in the Philippines. I was away in the Philippines for almost 9 years and when I came back I was surprised on what was going on here.
Road Construction
We arrived here in the Philippines, mid of 2019, I was so excited to go to my hometown in Tagaytay. There were lots of road construction going on that time until now… It is good to have improvements however the road that they were supposed to improve were so good still.
Cars were lined up on the road because some were blocked. I was a little surprised on how the politicians are so concern about the road construction here in the Philippines.. Nah…I just learnt that 2022 is the next election.
Too Much Fights
I used to watch news on youtube or facebook but nowadays it is really a nightmare to be watching one. So far, we are having 5 presidential candidates and we are still not certain if there will be more. A lot of fights all over the news.. graft and corruptions being exposed by oppositions. Administration fighting back on opposition by digging personal issues on them.
Former son of a dictator also longing to be a president.. Some playing victims.. some pretending to be innocent.
Corruption Expose
Oh my!! It’s really frustrating when you learnt that the corruption on Philippine’s health department is so rampant.. especially during these times, when people are fighting for their lives, queuing to be in the hospitals, longing to be vaccinated first. Our government, they said, took advantage of this moment to steal and milk on people who were desperate to live.
Isn’t it a disgrace?
It is still Pandemic!!!
Our politicians were fighting as if there is no existing pandemic.. as if the Philippines is already doing great fighting Covid. They are all saying what the government should do.. what the government lacks.. what the government stole.
The Department of Education pushing to have face to face classes on at least 120 schools for reason that I don’t understand. Children are still not vaccinated!
Daily cases increased tremendously. They are saying because of the Delta Variant.. some are saying because of the government.
I don’t know..
Wife of an Overseas Filipino Worker
For someone who has been waiting for a loved one to come back, but is now feeling hopeless because of what is happening here in the Philippines, this is really heartbreaking.
I am not the only one who is experiencing this.. I personally know a lot of people who are suffering also. One has an infant whom he did not see since birth.. Others have parents who died but was not able to go home..
As a wife of an overseas filipino worker, I just accepted the fact that the politicians here are merely thinking about themselves and how they can stay in their position. I need to accept that this situation will take a long time. That is the only thing to do.. ACCEPTANCE.
Advantage on investing in real estate in the Philippines
Hello there!!! I had a project this week of being able to find a renter on our newly built house. If you are from the Philippines and working abroad, maybe you will find this post interesting. I will sharing with you the experiences that I have on investing on real estate.
I am really into investment since I started working. I opened a lot of businesses like laundry shop, computer rentals, buy and sell of mobile phones, etc. It just happened that I have a regular job that I asked my relatives to look after my businesses.. Sad to say, it was not properly managed. So I ended up wasting a lot of money for those businesses.
When I got married, I am so blessed to have a husband who has the same interests as me. We discussed on how we would manage our finances especially that we both worked overseas. The money that we earned were somehow more than we needed and so the opportunity of investing to something is good.
So we invested on real estate.. Since I went back here in the Philippines because of the stress that I had at work in Singapore, my husband became the sole provider of our family. It became challenging for him because we practically need to buy new things for our house here.
As we are risk takers, we again bought another house for investment. We planned to have it for rent and the rental would be our payment for the mortgage. The first 18 months of paying the equity was the challenging part for us.
Choosing the Location
If you are going to buy a property for investment, you should know where is this property located. People are more likely to rent a house near their work. In this regard, you should know if the property is near the offices, industrial zones, factories, companies..
Being near to markets, grocery stores and malls are big plus factors too. Near to schools should also be considered.
The house that we invested is very near to industrial zones and factories. It is near to the market, grocery stores, malls, schools and hospitals.
Safety of the environment is also one of the factors that we considered. We chose a guarded subdivision.
Before we confirmed buying the house, we did some research about the subdivision. Is it well maintained? Is the water supply okay? Internet is fast?
Why Real Estate?
I mentioned on my previous blog the reason why we chose on investing on real estate. The first 18 months of paying the equity was a little difficult for us. When the house was already built, I immediately posted it on facebook marketplace.
The appreciation of real estate here in the Philippines is quite impressive. What we invested is really not that much but I believe this is better than saving money to the bank. If you are looking for long term investment, real estate is one of the best choices.
How fast it was to have a renter?
Since I posted the ad in facebook marketplace, there was no day that I did not have an inquiry. Two days ago, I woke up with 8 inquiries asking if the house is still available.
Then before the day ends, I had nearly 25 people who sent inquiries.. I got a lot of schedule for viewing. Thursday night I closed the deal with a family who was so eager to live in the house.
The market is so huge. I was so impressed. If we have the money, it is good to have more real estate investments.
My Garden after the Rain
Weather nowadays is unpredictable.. Every morning, the sun is shining brightly then in the afternoon the rain is pouring. I am loving the weather though. I think I am used to this kind of weather just like when we were in Singapore.
It’s kind of cold already because Christmas season is coming.. The coldness in the afternoon invites me to always take a sip of hot ginger tea.
Because of the homeschooling and errands I needed to finish for the other house, I was not able to visit our garden. The grasses visibly need to be trimmed. Some of the leaves need to be cut.. Flowers bloomed.. vegetables grew..
Time flew so fast.. This garden was so bare when we got here in this house. The soil was not good for gardening and so I literally roamed around the town to see if there are some construction going on where I could ask for soil. Fortunately, I found one. There was a hospital to built on that area and so there are a lot of soil that needs to be disposed. I asked the foreman if I could have some and he said yes. I looked for a truck (hardware stores) and rented it. My siblings were here that time and they helped me spread the soil.
We planted two pine trees and other plants that we bought in the nearby town where a lot of nice plants are being sold. Look at it now.. There are 4 roses there but I think it was not caught by the camera in the picture.
These are my two rose plants.. The flowers bloomed after the rain. They are so lovely.. I haven’t experienced growing plants before. It’s really amazing to look at.
The other two rose plants have red flowers.. They have buds already.
I got so amazed also seeing an improvement on my little vegetable garden. Last week, it was a little heartbreaking to see my tomatoes and eggplants die. However, when I saw the bell peppers coming out, I felt so happy.
Gardening is relatively new to me. It’s a learning experience for me seeing the ups and downs of my plants.. Haha.. I would not give up on this gardening habit because there are results and it is really therapeutic.
I have been planting for only 6 months and so I can give you few tips for now. I had some tips on my previous blog about fertilizers that are available at home. Natural fertilizers are very effective. I always keep the peelings of the vegetables, mixed in the soil then put on the plants. This works for me.
Be Vaccinated
Last Tuesday, I had my second dose of Astrazenica vaccine (one of the vaccines against Covid-19). I must admit that I was quite uneasy about having my second dose because of what I experienced after my first jab. I had a lot of vaccines already since I also worked as a seafarer before, but I haven’t encountered this kind of pain from vaccine.
During my first jab, we were asked to take paracetamol after. However, I did not do it and so the feeling was quite heavy during that time.. So last Tuesday, after the shot, I immediately took a paracetamol and religiously took it every 4 hours. Surprisingly, I did not really feel what I felt the first time.. I just slept a lot. Now I am okay.
Scared to be Vaccinated
For the past weeks, I was quite busy with our other house that we would for lease. I ordered a screen door, protection for insects. It was installed today by the owner of the shop and his helper. So they were asking me about my experience about the vaccination.
From their questions, I figured out that they are not vaccinated yet. The owner of the shop is quite old already, I suppose he is already at his 60’s and the helper maybe on his late 40’s. They admitted that they were scared to be vaccinated.. This is due to some bad news from their colleagues after the vaccination. They were so hesitant to do it.
Our government here in our town is very organized in terms of the vaccination process. We just need to fill up a form, then submit, then the government will send us message on when we will have the vaccine.
Common Denominator
I read an open letter from a doctor about the current situation now in their hospital. There are a lot of Covid patients and one thing is common amongst them… They are not vaccinated.
They said that people who are vaccinated are super spreaders. I believe that, because you would not know if they have the virus.. because they are asymptomatic.
Vaccine do not guarantee that you will not have Covid-19 but it guarantees that that if you will have Covid it will not be severe or critical.
Expensive Hospitalization
My father visited us last weekend and told us some news about our relatives who had Covid-19. His cousin and her parents paid 1.5 million pesos (30,000 USD). His other cousin who was in the hospital that time was already spending 500,000 pesos (10,000 USD). Health insurance for elders here is not common. It is not required.
It is fortunate also that there are vacant rooms in the hospital.. Nowadays, they are saying that some hospitals are in full capacity already.
Vaccinated Great Grandfather
My great grand father who is 87 years old completed his vaccination last August. He is not even going out but he is cautious.
I admire his desire of being vaccinated. There was no hesitations in his part.
All of these, I have told to the two people I met today who are very hesitant to take the vaccine. They left me very eager to give it a shot. For the love of their families, they should do it. They were the ones who are going out because of their job. They mingle with different people.
I said they should anticipate the pain, they should accept that there will be side effect afterwards. It is expected to be 2 weeks, they just need to accept it. Our thoughts sometimes are so powerful that it could even affect our heart and our whole body. Worrying would not help us.. Vaccines are carefully studied and disseminated. I told them, “be vaccinated”.
Social Media Time-Out
I had a good friend whom I haven’t spoken for months now because he had a social media time-out due to his health condition. I noticed it few months back but I did not have a chance to look for him. I was wondering why it is sudden that he left social media.
This is not the first time that I experienced this, I mean having a friend whom took a pause on social media. I had one who is now in the US, my former at work. She was not active in her social media for a few months and little did I know that she suffered from anxieties.
Last week, I was also checking out on one of my friends who was very active on Facebook but suddenly deactivated her account. When I encounter this, I always say a prayer to them because for some reasons I know that there is something wrong.
Social media is a platform where we share our happiness to others. This is what I am believe in.. Be it superficial or genuine, we are trying to show people the joy that we have in our lives. However, what if there is a crevice of heartache? It’s hard to pretend that we are okay.. We need to fix that crevice first before showing to people our smile, our interests and reasons why we are happy.
My experience
2019 was a devastating year for me.. It was my lowest, as far as my existence here on earth is concerned. I experienced a pain where I never thought I could be experiencing. I did a lot of prayers, I asked my loved ones to pray for me.. It was a difficult journey.
I deactivated my Facebook for more than three months. It somehow helped with my healing. People might be wondering what happened to me. I cannot just post something there to portray that I am okay. It is hard.
I always want to inspire people. I may not be perfect but I want people to remember me as a person whom they look up to whenever they need a smile or comfort. I needed to figure out first how I could heal the wounds that I had in my heart. The lockdown helped me a lot.. (please don’t get me wrong.)
The three months of lockdown being away from family, having only my kids with me was very liberating. Ironically, this is what I felt. I had a lot of time meditating.. a lot of devotions. Being away from social media was an experience of the reality. I experienced being 100% with my kids. I experienced being there for myself.
Oh my, the journey healed me.
Healing
Social media is a great help when you seek an inspiration or an influencer. However, it wouldn’t be effective if our hearts are in pain. We will just end up being irritated on what people post.
I believe that a pause on social media is a time for healing. A lot did not come back anymore and they are okay with it.
Happiness without social media
We are in the era when we wanted to inspire people.. Social media is one of the avenues for this. People might find their happiness by posting good things about themselves. This boosts their self confidence and self worth.
Some people see social media as a venue of envy. On the contrary, it made them feel worthless. It made them feel hatred to people who are trying to inspire.
I think what we need to seek are peace and joy on everything that we do. Will this give me peace of mind? Will this give me a good night sleep?
We are all different.. What’s the point of doing something that could make you feel devastated?
Maybahay ng OFW 