I have been contemplating about writing this topic because others might have different perspective about it. It depends on each individual.. This is based on my experience and maybe some of you might learn from what I will be sharing.
It’s been two years since I became a full time homemaker. I should admit that this was my dream. Since my second child was born and I experienced staying at home for too long because of my sensitive pregnancy. I had thought several times of staying at home and be a full time mom for my children. The thought was always there but at the back of my mind, this dream was impossible. We were all in Singapore that time and it’s known to everyone how high the cost of living there and so being a full time homemaker there is not feasible. My husband was very much aware of my predicaments. My work was demanding, I was on that company for 8 years already and so people were expecting too much from me. I was working like I don’t have children, then when I arrived at home, I needed to unplug and be a mom. It was very difficult.. Until I had my anxiety attacks.
My dream of becoming a full time homemaker came true. My children and I moved here in the Philippines.. I used to have a maid in Singapore then all of a sudden, I was alone with my children. Maybe you will say, oh well, that is a “piece of cake” responsibility.. everyone can be a homemaker. Wait until I will share with you the things to consider before you decide to be a full time homemaker.
I have a friend who is in Singapore, telling me that she is really stressed at work and she is thinking of going back here in the Philippines to be a full time homemaker. I personally knew her financial struggles. Her family is literally depending on her. I cannot tell her to pursue what she wanted. I am not discouraging her but I was telling her my experiences. How much it would cost her to stay here in the Philippines.
Being here at home, taking of care of my children, decorating the house, is an ultimate blessing for me. I will be forever grateful to God that I am experiencing this. My prayers still is for my husband to be here with us permanently. This is something that we are praying and planning. By God’s grace, when we are ready, he will be with us.
How was your weekend? The weather is quite good here in the Philippines, we were able to do the tasks that we are suppose to do. Haha.. My brother and his wife were here. He was here for us to repair the roof of our other house.
Even if my brother would not tell it, I know that he loves to spent time with me (assuming! Haha). He is a seafarer and he just came back from the ship. Now, he is having his vacation. It’s good that he is always available especially now that I need him with some issues on the roof of our other house.
We spent our Sunday full of fellowship. Some had wine and did a lot of chit-chats. He got married last year and so we talked about his childhood and let his wife know what he was like before. Last night was full of laughter, teasing my brother of how childish he was. I felt a little tipsy though as I haven’t drunk that much for a long time.
I have two siblings and my other sibling is living quite far from our home. She and her daughter are now sick that is why they cannot come to our house. If she was here yesterday, it would be hilarious. For sure, my brother would ask us to stop talking as we might spill a lot of beans to his wife. Haha..
So today, I did a lot of cleaning in our house. I was quite busy the whole week with online selling. I am also preparing for some materials for my youngest daughter “school”. I want her to spend the week having something she learnt.
Just to share:
While writing this blog, I am having my ginger tea. I always drink this in the afternoon and at night. A habit that my husband and I share. I was once a coffee drinker, especially when we were new in Singapore, however, I got some palpitations and heart burn. I stopped drinking coffee for a while, then shifted to the instant coffee with sugar and milk.
As I mentioned on my previous blog, I once worked in Singapore before I became a homemaker. We decided to come back here in the Philippines as I cannot take the stress working there in Singapore. Anyway, just want to share with you that when I was there in Singapore, unknowingly, I was finishing 4 cups of coffee in the morning (before lunch). After lunch, a lot of cups of coffee again.
One day, while I was working, around 10 in the morning, I hurriedly went to the toilet for some reasons that I don’t know. The toilet was quite far from our workstation and while I was walking I can feel the my heartbeat. It was really fast. I went to my boss and just stared at him. I don’t know why.
I think this happened in the year 2016, I just realized the amount of coffee that I was taking. I cannot blame myself because Singapore’s coffee is superb. The way they are preparing it is so unique.
I just need to stop. I experimented with a some teas like chamomile, black, green, ginger and moringa. We have a moringa tree and so I decided to make the leaves into tea.
The tea is good. I love drinking it especially if I know that it is 100% natural. I just need to have some improvements on how I prepared it. When it will be sunny, I will dry some leaves again for tea.
First of all, I would like to share with you the joy that I have now in my heart because I reached 1000+ views in this blog. I love writing and sharing my insights to people reason why I decided to finally create a blog. Since end of 2019, I finished three notebooks filled with my thoughts and devotions. This is really therapeutic. It eases my anxieties and makes me stay on the “now”. If you are one of the subscribers of this blog, I hope you find it entertaining and useful (maybe! haha).
This news that I got from wordpress made my day.. My feelings this morning though was a bit under the weather. I got frustrated with the carpenter who was supposed to repair the roof of our other house where somebody is renting. I paid this man twice already. He did a bit of the repair, but then the water drops became worst. And he did not manage to come back there and repair again.
Fortunately, it did not rain today and I decided to ask the help of my brother. He will be available tomorrow for it. And because I was not really in the mood today, I asked my brother if we could go to their newly renovated house.
He was delighted to know that we will go there together with my children. My mom was also with me. I told him around 9 in the morning, we packed and went there at 11. My brother already cooked “caldereta” (pork with minced liver, carrots, potatoes, cheese & tomato sauce) and also “palabok” (noodles). Oh, I was so hungry when we reached there.. my smile was literally from ear to ear. The bad mood that I had just washed away.
It was frustrating because I always give my trust to people fully. I never thought that there are really those kind of people who will neglect their responsibilities when they already received money. My brother and his wife told me that this is really common. Oh my! As if I was born yesterday. Lesson learnt for me.
Anyway, it was good that we had some chitchats about life and what are the things we could do together. My sister-in-law is also into business and so we had some discussion on how we could collaborate. I need to admit that I will be busy for the coming months because I am homeschooling my two kids.
My mom though was so happy to see the plants that my sister-in-law’s mother have.
We took some baby plants there. Then bought 2 sacks of loam soil to plant those in our garden.
The cats of my sister-in-law grew so fast too. She was the one who influenced me to take care of cats. She has 1 munchkin cat and 3 persian cats.
It’s good to have siblings to talk to whenever you feel down. My siblings do the same whenever they are not fine. Sometimes, I can easily feel if something is wrong.
Days are not perfect. Sometimes it will not really go according to our plans. Last night my husband already told me to just don’t mind about this carpenter and think that what we gave him is just a part of our blessings. I hope it helped him.
Life is good and I just need to be cautious of how I would give my trust to people. I am so naive and I should not be like this at this age. Haha. The bad mood that I had did not last for an hour. Thankful mentality still won in my mind and heart.
Just as we thought that the rain will continually stop, it was just resting. June is the beginning of the rainy season here in the Philippines. From then on, the weather will be unpredictable already. Typhoons coming are normal happenings already. Reason why, majority of the Filipinos know already what are the things to prepare during this season.
I walked through our garden and saw some of our plants were ruined by the heavy rains. I was so eager to work on it but the rain comes occasionally. I actually don’t know what that plant (the one in the picture) is for, it was just given to me by my neighbor. I just decided to pull those and plant tomatoes instead. I would also pull the spinach out, I am still thinking of what vegetable plant to replace.
It rained the whole day yesterday, until the power was cut off. We just finished our dinner when it happened. I was checking on my kids’ reaction because it is very rare that they experience brownout. I was expecting my youngest daughter to be scared but surprisingly, she was enjoying the darkness. The candles were easy to reach as well as the lighter. So, we had lights in an instant.
For some reasons, my eldest daughter thought of reading her books. She brought all her books downstairs for her to read. (Thank you brownout!)
While everyone was enjoying the brownout, I immediately fill the water containers as there might be water shortage. Since there is still water, I grabbed the opportunity to fill the containers.
I was expecting the worst already, not having electricity for days, but surprisingly, it only lasted for 2 hours. Kids were very happy to blow the candles when the electricity was back. Something that we also enjoyed when were kids.
Today’s weather is still the same. Raining occasionally, we don’t have choice but to stay inside the house. I thought of doing live selling online. I still have some stocks of the clothes that I am selling. Fortunately, I managed to sell some. It’s nice to be always productive.
Hopefully, there will be sun tomorrow so that I could plant the tomatoes.
The night before yesterday, I finally had a chance to watch this movie called “My Amanda”. This is a Filipino movie based on two people who were bestfriends but they are of opposite gender. The takeaway of the movie was for people to be aware that platonic relationships do exist. And I firmly believe on that because I also have a “boy” bestfriend since college since, whom I haven’t spoken for years till yesterday.
So after I watched the movie, I grabbed the phone and finally called my friend. It has been 9 years, I think, that we did not speak to each other. It was so surreal like it was only yesterday that we did not communicate. Having known that he is good in Canada with his family makes me happy. We have been inseparable before and never imagined that we could be “family people” even if we are so childish.. haha.
Oh my, it seemed like yesterday, I remember vividly our adventures together doing everything for my crush to notice me.. Haha. He was there during those times. The never ending talks and bullying that we have in school and in our home.
It was really good to have a guy friend, especially during our teens because personally, I was able to know guys well. What they think about girls, how to win them (haha!), what they usually want to talk about.. Since I was boyish before, I really did not find myself being so close to a girl like how I was close to my bestfriend. I was easy-go-lucky when I was a teen and I was not into a lot dramas especially when it is about boys.. Something that most of the teen girls were having problems about.
I know our story is far from the movie. The movie was good but I found it a little boring.. Sorry! Maybe because my sister told me hints of how it will end. Why did I find it boring? Because it was somehow predictable. I mean not because I somehow knew the ending, but you will already know the next scene of the movie. Did I expect the man to profess his feeling to the girl? I honestly did not.
I just remembered my good friend after watching the movie and I am thankful that it opened doors for us to communicate again. I am so excited to meet his family and for him to meet mine. I am sure he will get along well with my husband. I don’t know when it will happen but I know it will.
It has been a wet week here in the Philippines, particularly here in Luzon. Well, the rain literally paused because we haven’t seen the sun for the whole week, however, today, the sun shone brightly.
I forgot to share with you guys what happened 2 days ago. There was a strong earthquake here in the Southern part of Luzon. I was awaken by the shaking of our bed last Saturday morning, around 4:50am. It was really strong and again I panicked.. I checked the dining room as we have hanging lights there and the fixtures were really moving. I shouted at my daughters to wake them up, and thought of putting them under the table. My mom was upstairs also, and I shouted really loud for her to come down.
I was being optimistic about our new house not to be destroyed so easily by the earthquake.. And then there was an aftershock. My thoughts were on my father and my siblings who were not with us. I sent them messages asking if they were okay. We all waited of what could happen next. There was no aftershock anymore and so I asked my daughter to sleep.
My prayers that time are for the people who are greatly affected by the floods because of constant rain and also by this strong earthquake.
Everything was okay with my family. My sister though got dizzy as she was sick during that time.
The rain continued until yesterday. I grabbed the opportunity to sew some pillow cases. The main cases of our throw pillows were broken and so I made replacements by using an old bedsheet.
This is my first time to actually make a pillow case from scratch.
During the week also, I made this facebook page for my new side job (should I say).. I applied to be a part time agent of a real estate company. I was accepted, though there was no commitments, I just needed to post videos and do marketing stuffs on the facebook page. I will share with you more of this on my next blogs.
I also cleaned the house thoroughly. I felt that the house needed my extensive cleaning because of our cats..
Today, I woke up with the sound of the children playing outside.. Apparently, my neighbors woke up so early maybe because there was no rain anymore. I bet a lot of stay at home moms washed clothes today. I had a week of clothes to wash and I was so glad I did it. I still hung it on the covered part of our house because it was still drizzling.
My children was able to walk and play their scooter outside as well..
Life is really unpredictable.. I bought a retractable tent last week to cover our chairs and table outside because of the hotness in that area, then the next day, it rained.
Either it rains or shine, life must go on. It shouldn’t stop, we should still move forward.
Is it okay to act okay if you are not okay?
When I had my first anxiety attack last 2019, I was not really anticipating it because I was not aware that I worry too much. So when I woke up that morning and I cannot breathe, I got panic and I informed my husband immediately about it.
After that, there were still episodes of the anxiety attacks and I just need to tell it to my loved ones.
I had known that one of my loved ones (whom you would not imagine) had been betraying me for a long time, and it made my attacks so frequent. Some, I am not even saying to my husband because I eventually knew how to handle it.
A lot of crying, sleepless nights, questioning, during those times.. This was early of 2020..
Because I suffered from that for over a year, I managed to fight for it. I did not keep it nor hide it from my husband or my loved ones. They knew I was going through something. But, I searched and searched of how I can be okay.
I don’t want to pretend that I am well, because I don’t want to make my situation worst. This is something that I needed to do to heal.
That is why when I feel like I cannot breathe because of constant thinking.. I usually inform my parents about it. Though I don’t want to disturb my husband, I just need to tell it to him too.
If you open yourself to people and show that you are not okay.. HELP will come. Yes, some people will say that oh, you just need to shift your mind by thinking of something else. Well, I hope it is that easy. That is the reason why you have to tell your loved ones that you need them to listen to you. Because sharing what you have in your mind, releases the anxieties. Know the people who genuinely love you.
This is based on my personal experience. I fought on how to deal with this and I now knew how to handle it.
It’s raining cats and dogs here in our place for almost two days now. I was not expecting the rainfall because last weekend was quite sunny. I decided to buy a retractable tent for our coffee table outside the house.
After I bought that, the next day, it rained hard. We were still able to eat our breakfast yesterday morning but after that rain started to fall. It was then that we learned that there is a typhoon now here in the Philippines.
This morning when the rain was not that strong, I decided to put fertilizer on our plants outside. I put some on the papaya trees and chili. I was not able to put on the bougainvillea and roses because heavy rain fell. We were stuck here at home now (well as usual) haha. But I myself is vigilant on what could happen next during typhoon.
I would like to share with you the top things I prepare here in the Philippines when there is typhoon.
I usually buy groceries good for a week and fortunately I have enough stocks for us. I also have to be sure that the drinking water (purified) is sufficient for us for the whole week.
This is the liquified petroleum gas, the one that we use for cooking. I usually check if the stocks is still okay as there might be problems when we run out of LPG during this time.
3. Candles/Rechargable lamps
We have lots of candles here. I always see to it that it is within our reach especially when electricity supply is cut off.
One of the important things to prepare is water. We have two big containers for water. Usually during these times, we fill it in because when there is no electricity, there is also no water.
5. Charge phones
As we are always anticipating brownout, that is why during these times, we always make sure that our phones are fully charged. In case of emergency, it is always easy to reach us or to reach others.
I still feel blessed to be situated in a place where we usually are not that affected by typhoons. Worst is no electricity and water. I think this is part of living in this world, to be experiencing typhoons and some natural disasters. What’s important is to be ready and to move on afterwards.
I have been blogging for almost three months now and if you read some of my blogs I mentioned there that my husband is in Singapore now, away from us for more than a year now. We have decided this set up because it is financially practical for us.
You may not be able to imagine how I sustain living without him (physically) for that long. But I think it is also unimaginable how my husband was able to cope up with us away from him. Between us, my husband is more patient on this journey. Even if he is the one who is alone and misses our children, he still manages to remind me to stay faithful that the day will come when we will be together again.
I would like to share you the things that my husband do to ease his boredom while living alone in Singapore.
It is more of a routine actually. My husband calls every time we are going eat. Through that, it is as if we are eating together. Sometimes, he calls in the morning before he reports to work and he always calls at night before we sleep.
We have CCTV cameras at home not only for safety reasons but also for my husband to see us whenever he wanted. He can also look after our kids through the camera. My kids listen to their father as this is one of the things that we taught them.
He sees my kids play, watch tv, play ukulele, fight (haha), when I cook, scold my kids, etc.. He is like “big brother” in the Big Brother house. (haha)
I know when my husband is utterly bored when he already reads book. Surprisingly, he managed to read a lot of books for a year of being away from us. I am so impressed on how he can sit down and be still reading a book. Books are a source of wider imagination and perspective in life. However, it is really not my cup of tea. I would like to read blog though.
After dinner, my husband would tell me that he will just have a walk. I know the area where he stays in Singapore because we lived there for almost 5 years. It was near a canal and have a nice pathway to walk. He usually finishes 10000 steps. He also do this for him to have a good sleep at night.
Whoever invented Netflix is genius. Everything is there. All the categories that we wanted are there. My husband loves documentaries and he is always fascinated to watch those. He likes to watch movies too. We sometimes asked each other of the good movies to watch.
With listening to podcast we cling to Spotify. It is also a good source of knowledge especially on how to be motivated, what are the good investments, etc. It’s nice to hear good words from people who experience skills and hardships first hand. I also learned to listen to those and it is really motivating.
My husband and his colleagues at work usually do biking on weekends. They bike for hours targeting to go around Singapore. They usually manage to finish a distance of 50km or more.
Not only to ease boredom but because it is economical. My husband learned a lot of dishes. Some I taught him, some was taught by his father. He usually cooks vegetables, grilled fish and fried noodles.
My husband’s performance at work is impeccable. This is because he can focus and concentrate a lot on his work. He is already like that, but it is enhanced because of his aim of making his mind busy.
Faith is what keeps us together. This is also what gives us the strength to move on and let the day pass.
Since last Wednesday, I was occupied by a lot of things as my parents and siblings were here to celebrate my younger brother’s birthday. The celebration was not really ordinary, like blowing cakes and a lot of foods. It was a two day celebration of eating together, drinking wines, chatting and a lot fellowships. It’s good to be together once in a while, especially now that we are stuck at home.
Whenever my father and brother are here at home, I always take advantage of their time and strength (haha!) to help me with the tasks that I cannot really do. One of which is the clothes line at the back of our house. Rainy days have started here in the Philippines and my goal of putting the clothes line is already long overdue. Good thing I have them to help me.
This is not only what they did at home, my father trimmed the grass and the plants. My brother cooked our meals. He is a good cook. While my sister, took care of my kids.. Haha.
While they are doing those, I arranged stuffs at our backyard and the drawers in our rooms. Things that I cannot really do when I am busy cooking and taking care of my kids.
That is only one of those, some of the drawers, I also arranged. So nice to look at now. Today (Friday), they came back to their respective houses. At least I was able to accomplish a lot of things while they were here.
Our government allowed kids to go out of the house to play or go to neighborhood. But of course with the masks on. Since my eldest daughter had been asking me to eat quesadillas, in which a restaurant here nearby prepares, I decided for us to have snacks there. It’s a very cute restaurant built near the house of the owner. It’s a cozy place to stay in. There are lots of plants there, different varieties and well taken cared of.
They enjoyed the food and the ambiance of the place. My youngest daughter was even lying down on the couch. I asked her not to do that.. Haha. No one was there but us.
Seeing my loved ones happy is something that I am very grateful for. I am still waiting for my husband though as he is still in Singapore waiting for a chance for him to go home.
I have a faith and that faith gives me strength to move on with my life while waiting for my husband. I still feel blessed because my husband talks every now and then..