Why am I Different?

This is a question that popped my mind when my cousins were here in our house last week. I have two close cousins whom I spent almost my entire childhood. We were together during fiestas, attended the same high school, did a lot of get-togethers, had a lot of overnights together..

Since my husband and I lived in Singapore for 8 years, we (cousins & I) seldom had a chance to have a get together.. But since I am already here in the Philippines with my children, I thought of inviting them over to have some chit chats just like before.

Both of my cousins married at their 20’s. Something that I never thought of doing during my early 20’s. They had their children during those times when I was still enjoying my time alone. They had heartbreaks.. separated to their spouses.. which made me decide not to get married.

Yes.. I had that decision before. I saw the excruciating pain from my cousins. How they were so affected with their break ups.. How their worlds turned upside down.. How it ruined their perspectives in life. I witnessed those.

Not until I found a guy whom proved that not all men are the same. Then I decided to get married, though my fear was at the highest. My husband assured that he will not hurt me.

My cousins were so excited to be here in our house. Their children are older now and so they could have their time to sleep over. I was excited too! There are lots of things to catch up.

We literally talked until 2:30 in the morning.. We started at 4 in the afternoon by the way.

My cousins were so amazed on the things that I am doing at home. One of my cousins is a teacher in secondary and she was amazed when she learned that I am homeschooling my eldest. I am doing rubrics and all the teacher’s stuffs. She said, I must be very busy.

Not to mention the gardening, sewing, organizing of stuffs.. They were shocked. I was surprised too on how they reacted. I thought it was normal to have lots of things to do at home. However, they are not like me. They give a lot of time for themselves. Submit necessary things few minutes before submission.. I am not like that.

They are telling me that it is my decision to be very busy. However, I could say that this is me.. I have time for myself now. I mean this is the time of my life when I have time for myself doing the things that I am passionate about. It is just that I am not passionate about taking a nap for two hours. Watching Netflix the entire evening.

I wanted to achieve something within a week. It makes me feel good about myself. I wanted to cook nice dishes for my children because it makes me satisfied.

I love my cousins but we are different. I must say, I encountered few people here in the Philippines doing the same as my cousins. Maybe this is how to live here in the Philippines.. I don’t know.

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