Realization During this Pandemic

This past few days, I was a little bit under the weather maybe because of the hormones.. I am at my 40’s now and I could say that the level of my patience and thinking is a little different now. I was once an easy-go-lucky person but now since I have children, I became more conscious on the future.

Well, there was a typhoon here in the Philippines, I am not sure if it is still here but the northern part was severely flooded. I noticed our papaya trees where becoming weak, the leaves are not bloomed anymore. I had a feeling that those will be dying soon, and it really happened. The bell peppers were not okay also. The vegetables that I planted were infected by pests maybe.. I had to pull those and throw.

Two of the staffs of my daughter’s school died because of Covid.. The other one spent 1.7 million pesos (~35,000 USD) in the hospital. The school asked for donations for the staff.

The brother of my godmother also died because of Covid, he spent 2.5 million pesos (~50,000 USD) in the hospital. They are well-off and so money was not a problem to them.

My highschool classmate’s sister-in-law and niece also died because of Covid. They had Covid and pre-existing medical condition, diabetes.

A lot of news about what is happening here in the Philippines. People who are dying are becoming nearer.

I got frustrated because I haven’t seen my husband for more than a year now.. This Christmas would be the second one that we are not together. Last night, I broke down and cried.

I cried because that is the only thing that I can do.

It’s good that I cried because I released the pain and started to realize a lot of things.. We are blessed.

We are blessed because we are all healthy. We are still complete in the family. We do not need to spend millions of pesos for our health.

Now I am grateful. It’s good that I cried, the heaviness in my heart was lightened.

I sent a message to my husband at 1 in the morning, I told him what I was going through and he made me realized a lot of things.

Little by little it is improving. There is always hope.

From now on, I will see the positive side of things. I was always like that. However, this pandemic hit the other side of me.

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