My last post was a little heavy.. The anger that I had that day was at the peak, but I still managed to control it. If you haven’t read my last blog, I shared what happened to my daughter and my mom last week. They were attacked by a dog and my daughter was bitten and scratched. It was a little though but I decided to have her vaccinated with anti-rabies.
In this regard, I was boiling in anger and I wanted to confront the owner of the dog. I know that I might not able to control my emotions and so I decided to wait a while.
TAKE TIME TO THINK
When we are angry, we are validating the reason why we are angry. We are bias and just listening to ourselves. Sometimes, the other side has also reasons why it happened. And so, it is very important to take time to think and assess what happened. You would be surprised that by pausing and thinking, sometimes, you will realize that it was actually your fault or it is just because of a situation.
Pausing can also give you time to think of what you need to say. It allows you to be mindful of the feelings of the other person.
It is my habit to talk to God, especially when I have doubts on what I am feeling and whenever I am angry or upset. Along with the pausing, I am constantly seeking God’s guidance and wisdom. It is for my peace of mind because it is more often that the person who is angry is the one who is hurt.
SLOW TO SPEAK
With the spur of the moment, we sometimes don’t have much time to think whenever anger eats us. The best way to control is to speak slowly and calmly.. even if it is hard. With these, there will be less trouble and hurtfulness.
There are some cases when confronting and talking calmly is not effective anymore especially when you have done it a lot of times already. It’s time to let go and have some distance. This is what you call self-respect. You should leave something for yourself also.
Giving distance not also would let the other person realize your worth but also coming to his senses of what he has done.
When I decided to confront the owner of the dog, I paused and waited for an hour, I prayed, then eventually talk calmly to the person. It was very smooth, we understood each other well. We concluded and he helped me with the vaccination cost. I think he learned his lesson too.
Please don’t get me wrong, I too had some instances when I let my anger burst. I said “let” because I too has the right to fight for myself. I think it is not wrong to know your worth and fight for whatever you think is good. Some people need to also learn their lessons.