I have been contemplating about writing this topic because others might have different perspective about it. It depends on each individual.. This is based on my experience and maybe some of you might learn from what I will be sharing.
It’s been two years since I became a full time homemaker. I should admit that this was my dream. Since my second child was born and I experienced staying at home for too long because of my sensitive pregnancy. I had thought several times of staying at home and be a full time mom for my children. The thought was always there but at the back of my mind, this dream was impossible. We were all in Singapore that time and it’s known to everyone how high the cost of living there and so being a full time homemaker there is not feasible. My husband was very much aware of my predicaments. My work was demanding, I was on that company for 8 years already and so people were expecting too much from me. I was working like I don’t have children, then when I arrived at home, I needed to unplug and be a mom. It was very difficult.. Until I had my anxiety attacks.
My dream of becoming a full time homemaker came true. My children and I moved here in the Philippines.. I used to have a maid in Singapore then all of a sudden, I was alone with my children. Maybe you will say, oh well, that is a “piece of cake” responsibility.. everyone can be a homemaker. Wait until I will share with you the things to consider before you decide to be a full time homemaker.
Financial Stability – When I was thinking of becoming a full time homemaker, I knew that the only possible way was for us to be here in the Philippines. My husband’s earnings would be enough if my children and I will be in the Philippines. I wouldn’t go back here if I know that our financial status is not that stable. We are financially independent from our parents and we just rely on what could have.
Readiness to Stop Earning – Speaking of financially independent, I was never dependent to my husband financially since we got married. It was a hard realization because I need to rely financially to my husband. First year was difficult, because I was on self-pity, though my husband is giving us more than we need but I knew how hard he worked and so I thought I don’t deserve to be receiving those. Then eventually because of the amount of work at home, I was thinking that what I was receiving was not enough. Acceptance is the key. This is a calling, for the love of the family. Now, I am very satisfied and I know my husband is also happy to be seeing his kids growing up well with me, their mother.
Readiness to do menial Tasks – Staying at home does not mean, you can sit anytime you want on the couch.. There are loads of work at home. Work that does not require laptop, more physical and never-ending. My first month at home was still exciting. I had lots of plans of how I would take of my children, how I will decorate the house, how I do my routine, etc. However, I did not know that it would be exhausting. I thought there was an end to what I was doing but the tasks are becoming more. It was under estimated, that the work is so easy, but I was not expecting that it would somehow be tiring.
Patience for Kids – One should be prepared on becoming a full time mother. I did a lot of researches and readings on how to manage toddlers and pre-teens. My husband is physically not here with us and so I practically absorb the responsibilities of being there for them. It was difficult at first, plus I decided to home school them, I was stressed also. However, I learnt on how to prioritize things at home and focus on what my children needs. I do have a “To-do-list” at home so that I could still manage everything. I am honest to my kids about how tired I am and so they knew that they should be mindful of the things that they should do. I always communicate with my kids, this is very essential in every relationship.
Accept few time for yourself – The responsibility of doing the house chores, taking care of kids, running errands is so enormous that finding time for yourself is challenging. At first, because it will be overwhelming, it is really difficult to find time for a tea break or a nap. But if everything is scheduled including the time for yourself, time for oneself could then be realized.
I have a friend who is in Singapore, telling me that she is really stressed at work and she is thinking of going back here in the Philippines to be a full time homemaker. I personally knew her financial struggles. Her family is literally depending on her. I cannot tell her to pursue what she wanted. I am not discouraging her but I was telling her my experiences. How much it would cost her to stay here in the Philippines.
Being here at home, taking of care of my children, decorating the house, is an ultimate blessing for me. I will be forever grateful to God that I am experiencing this. My prayers still is for my husband to be here with us permanently. This is something that we are praying and planning. By God’s grace, when we are ready, he will be with us.